1. Buy breakfast at Starbucks and send a message with the disposable cup that it was my fault.
2. Find a plastic sandwich bag and then secretly use it to crush Pepperidge Farm’s crackers.
3. Try to knit a heart out of my socks with a knitting needle, but I then run out of knitting needles.
4. Check the liquor cabinet and try to use gin without cutting out the water.
5. Buy the “God Bless Your Little Quinceanera” t-shirt from Target.
6. Spend all of my beer money at the liquor store because I don’t want to be too special.
7. Buy Klondike bars and send them back to the store because they can only be bought here.
8. Be afraid of the face cream.
9. Talk to my idol Annette Funicello and tell her I love her, but that her hair was clearly real and was embarrassing.
10. Make my locks look like my idol Mariah Carey’s again!
1. Spend every penny of my allowance buying Harry Potter at Barnes & Noble, books that have no real purpose except for that I don’t know how else to spend my allowance.
2. Dye my dyed hair to look like the Turner Classic Movies’s Madeline Kahn.
3. Buy a “Little Big Man” book from Random House and send it back to them.
4. Braid my hair like Quvenzhané Wallis and send it back to them for them to get used to.